


Innocence Lost [Yoongi]

by Vivibop



Category: bts, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, F/F, Other, Short Story, short fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2018-12-30 01:09:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 7,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12097401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vivibop/pseuds/Vivibop
Summary: "Min Yoongi, a crown prince whose selfishness led him to ruin her life, and so did he ruin his."





	1. Chapter 1

_Crown prince Yoongi was luring her into doing something she had never imagined she would ever be asked to do, but the way he asked her, the way his eyes intensely locked with her agitated, unsure ones, the way his hidden aura coiled all around her small body and made her feel as light as a feather in strong autumnal breezes, the way his cold, sweaty hands snaked all along her bare shoulder, and most importantly, the way he voiced his demands, that low, deep and rich tone and that pleasingly odoriferous, radiant aureole of his sacredness that was floating all around his body was more than enough to trick her into believing that she wanted to to do everything that had ever been prohibited._

**_Dear Mother,_ **

**_I don't know how to feel about crown prince Yoongi and his crystal ways to shimmer ardent love and shameless adoration within me_ **

**_And even if he was doing nothing but making it clear that he is using me, I still fell hard for him and was ready to take drastic measures to become who he wanted me to be,_ **

**_For I, my mother, had never felt so free._ **


	2. 002

_"Abort her pregnancy."_

_As much as it was cruel to do such a working of devil, she still shamelessly listened to his order, happiness never leaving her soft features. If you saw her in front of you, you would never assume that she would be the kind of girl she was. A weak, fickle_ _girl who would often put herself before others._

_She too never knew that she was so until he came into her life, and bravely snakily crawled into her life, slowly seeping his venom into her soul, drop by drop_

_Plip..._

_Plip..._

_Plip..._

_She carefully listened to every drop of that venom blobbing into her empty body, but she never really cared if her body was going to be filled with a deadly venom that could reach the point where it could cause her own doom._

_As long as it was him and as long as she felt free, she was ready to take drastic measures._

**_Dear Mother,_ **

**_Prince Crown Yoongi and his fake smile,_ **

**_Still makes my heart jolt to, somehow, carol and repine_ **

**_So should I continue following him and his guile?_ **

**_Or should I repent and seek forgiveness of the Divine?_ **


	3. 003

_"Your highness," She paused after shyly calling him, her flushing red cheeks flying upwards happily. "I will take whatever measures I can to provide your highness the peacefulness you want in the palace." He let out a loud laugh, echoing through the big main hall of the palace causing Beryl's smile to die down for a second but soon, her smile reformed itself when she heard what he had to say._

_"If all subjects were as obedient as you, being a king would be as easy as eating a cake and having it too."_

_Even when she did not understand what he had just said because he is not even the king nor can he eat a cake and have it too, and even if she was called a mere subject and was referred to as obedient, which was a word she had always considered a term of_ _slavery_ _, she still admiringly fluctuated her dreamy eyes from one of his eyes to the other, still shamelessly falling even more in love._

_They were both seething with and led astray by nothing but contradictions._

**_Dear Mother,_ **

**_He gave me two days to think, and even when I knew the answer back then, I couldn't_ **

**_Give him a quick answer because I felt something wronged within me that didn't_ **

**_Allow my mouth to seep this word "Yes" and step on the manners you taught me and quota of youth you recklessly spent_ **

**_On a disgraceful girl like me, who is weak and whose soul is fading and soon, to hell, will be sent._ **


	4. 004

_"What is this, your highness?"_ _Beryl_ _asked cheerfully, smiling idiotically as she cautiously studied Yoongi wrapping his large hands around the_ _greenware_   _to form whatever form comes to his mind. "Why don't you order anyone to do it for you instead of dirtying your hands?"_

_"Aren't I allowed to do the things I love on my own?" He smiled brightly without averting his eyes from the masterpiece that was yet to be created. His bright smile made_ _Beryl's_ _heart dive more deeply into her heatedly admiring body._

_"Can you teach me, your highness?" It took her a lot of courage to ask such a question but she was young and free, she couldn't understand that she was crossing the line and that she will be cussed out by all the maids present in the room_ _for being_ _so boorish and stupid. But much to_ _Beryl's_ _relief and everyone in the room's surprise, the crown prince only met her with another heart-warming grin that made her heart jolt yet another time ferociously and run into her ribcage._

_Hesitantly and shyly, she walked up to him, turned her body so her back was facing his rigid chest and after he beckoned her to put her hands onto the unfired pottery, feeling the soft, cold and malleable material against her warm palms,_ _his arms crawled all along her arms to gently wrap his hands around hers to move them smoothly along the_ _deforming pottery_ _. Hot breaths colliding with her already_ _nervously_ _perspiring_ _cheek._

_**Dear Mother,** _

_**To get you out of your prison, I said I would take drastic measures** _

_**So I convinced myself to step on the manners you taught me and look from different visions** _

_**But now, I only feel like I'm using you as an excuse to devour more of the attention I sought** _

_**And God, why does it feel so right to be so caught** _

_**In a maze of sweet lies and those honey pleasures.** _


	5. 005

_"It has been four days and you still haven't found a solution to my_ _dilemma_ _." His voice was growling underneath the layer of sweetness he placed so he doesn't scare the young girl off, she was young and she was capable of being too reckless to reveal his little dirty secret even if it causes her own mother's death._

**_Adolescents are always that reckless._ ** _His own voice echoed in his head, reminding himself of the old incident where he caused his own mother's death just because he was too careless and reckless to think of anyone but his very own self. And as old habits never die, instead of putting his selfishness back to sleep after the agony and anguish he caused for himself, the backfire rather made a dramatic about-turn, and his selfishness was now the prevailing part of his personality and emotions._

_"Your highness, I already have a plan in mind, I am just awaiting the perfect time to put it into action." Satisfied by her own answer, she dared to proudly raise her head up with a diabolical smirk embellishing her bee-stung lips._

_"Just as I thought, little girl," He too, lifted the corner of his upper lip up in a devilish smirk,_ _mirroring her previous action by_ _lifting his head up in pure_ _satisfaction_ _and amusement, causing his little adam's apple to pop out. "You are the one to wrap this case up." He patted her head for a couple of times, slightly ruffling her hair, before pulling her into his warm, enchanting embrace that she had always longed to feel._

_She was struck by a thundering shock, every nerve she had was dancing around and caroling in joy and pure happiness. Her hands fidgeted in all possible direction, not knowing if she could wrap her arms around him too or not, as she_ _welcomely_ _took in his scent, his warmth, and his gentle touch to the fullest before he gently unwrapped his arm and took it off her, stopping the side hug before she can get any deeper into it._

 

 

**_Dear Mother,_ **

 

**_Crown Prince_ ** **_Yoongi hugged me, causing my mind to make an unbearable pother_ **

 

**_And oh dear Lord, instead of_ ** **_not_ ** **_wanting to abort that innocent child because it is wrong,_ **

 

**_The only reason I do_ ** **_not want_ ** **_to cause this abortion is that I don't want his warmth and gentleness to leave me after the mission all along._ **

 

**_Am I a sinner, mother?_ **

 


	6. 006

_"Your highness, I feel like what I will do and what I am thinking about is completely wrong; we shouldn't kill an innocent child whose biggest fault is being born into a royal family." As she_ _quietly_ _spoke with a_ _shaky_ _voice, her head jolted up and down_ _nervously_ _as she looked everywhere but the prince's intensely angry eyes._

_Still, he understood that she was too young to be teemed with so much cruelty without complaining or feeling a lot of contradictions within her_ _transparent_ _soul, so he managed to keep his anger low. As he cocked his head slightly to one side, he looked thoroughly into her scared, teary eyes making her feel even more nervous as his gaze pierced right through her soul. After shrouding her with clouds of nervousness, he broke the intense eye contact and looked at her shoulder as he faked a reassuring, gentle hand that patted her shoulder for a couple of times before he took it off to move the strands of her hair off her forehead, which was already swarming with beads of perspiration._

_"Who told you that what you are doing is wrong?" He started out with a soft tone trying to sound as gently as possible, running his cold hand down her quivering cheek. "When he gives up the ghost now is much better. Why? Because if he comes to this hideous world and grows up, he will be faced with nothing but hardships, he might as well face one of the assassinations I always get to face and not make it out alive as I always miraculously did," He dramatically took his hand off her cheek, turning his body, so his back was facing her, and hung his head low. "The only reason I don't want a brother is that I don't want him to suffer as much as I am suffering now, I don't want to have another person to whom I would have great affection and love and about whom I would always be worried, and to cut this short,_ _Beryl_ _, I don't want to lose another_ _member_ _of my family, my mother died and so will my father one day,_ _Beryl_ _." She listened carefully to every syllable he pronounced, getting more and more emotional by every passing second, driven by his venomous thoughts and lies that rinsed her soul thoroughly, she ran two steps towards his body and wrapped her arms around his waist, sobbing vehemently against his back._

_"I will do it, Your Highness."_ _The smirk on his hidden face grew wider as he allowed her to snaked her arms around him carefully, mentally praising his outstanding acting skills._

 

 

_**Dear Mother,** _

 

_**It was me who hugged him today,** _

 

_**I no longer feel bad for what I am going to do, it's okay** _

 

_**I have to do it even if it is really a sin** _

 

_**Because mother, I do love him.** _

 


	7. 007

_"Your highness, I feel like what I will do and what I am thinking about is completely wrong; we shouldn't kill an innocent child whose biggest fault is being born into a royal family." As she_ _quietly_ _spoke with a_ _shaky_ _voice, her head jolted up and down_ _nervously_ _as she looked everywhere but the prince's intensely angry eyes._

_Still, he understood that she was too young to be teemed with so much cruelty without complaining or feeling a lot of contradictions within her_ _transparent_ _soul, so he managed to keep his anger low. As he cocked his head slightly to one side, he looked thoroughly into her scared, teary eyes making her feel even more nervous as his gaze pierced right through her soul. After shrouding her with clouds of nervousness, he broke the intense eye contact and looked at her shoulder as he faked a reassuring, gentle hand that patted her shoulder for a couple of times before he took it off to move the strands of her hair off her forehead, which was already swarming with beads of perspiration._

_"Who told you that what you are doing is wrong?" He started out with a soft tone trying to sound as gently as possible, running his cold hand down her quivering cheek. "When he gives up the ghost now is much better. Why? Because if he comes to this hideous world and grows up, he will be faced with nothing but hardships, he might as well face one of the assassinations I always get to face and not make it out alive as I always miraculously did," He dramatically took his hand off her cheek, turning his body, so his back was facing her, and hung his head low. "The only reason I don't want a brother is that I don't want him to suffer as much as I am suffering now, I don't want to have another person to whom I would have great affection and love and about whom I would always be worried, and to cut this short,_ _Beryl_ _, I don't want to lose another_ _member_ _of my family, my mother died and so will my father one day,_ _Beryl_ _." She listened carefully to every syllable he pronounced, getting more and more emotional by every passing second, driven by his venomous thoughts and lies that rinsed her soul thoroughly, she ran two steps towards his body and wrapped her arms around his waist, sobbing vehemently against his back._

_"I will do it, Your Highness."_ _The smirk on his hidden face grew wider as he allowed her to snaked her arms around him carefully, mentally praising his outstanding acting skills._

 

 

**_Dear Mother,_ **

**_It was me who hugged him today,_ **

**_I no longer feel bad for what I am going to do, it's okay_ **

**_I have to do it even if it is really a sin_ **

**_Because mother, I do love him._ **


	8. 008

_"What are you here for?" Despite his dull tone, bored eyes and features that were devoid of any hint of emotions when he eyed her, she still never budged and his monotonous_ _attitude_ _never really changed her emotions._

_"I was just here to tell you that I think it is the very best time to solve your misery." She stated proudly, cocking her head to one side, cheekily smiling at the crown prince who felt like the heaven of devils is smiling down on him upon hearing the news. A genuinely demonic smile grew wider on his face as he slowly lifted his eyes, which were glued to a black-covered book, to look thoroughly into hers. However, she only saw his not so pure smile as another sweet, soft smile of his._

_"When you wrap this up, I will make sure to give you the glorious life you deserve." His eyes that were brimming with amusement trailed all along her long face in a slick movement._

_She nodded overzealously, shamelessly allowing happiness and enthusiasm to be discernable on her face._

_After she left, he shook his head repeatedly smiling like what everyone present in the room would call; an idiot._

**_She is too young and_** ** _naïve_** ** _._** _He thought to himself,_ _cautiously_ _studying_ _the_   _reforming image of her big_ _smile_ _in his head. Because although he used her, somewhere in between the harmful_ _thorns_ _within_ _his cavity, blossoms with colorful, blinding hues sprouted out for her._

 

 

**_Dear Mother,_ **

 

**_I know that his present is to set you free,_ **

 

**_And I swear I'm more than happy that I will finally see you again so we can be each other's remedy_ **

 

**_For what had happened and the scars we still have lingering on our hearts._ **

 

**_But somewhere in between me,_ **

 

**_I still hope he does a lot of other things like lacing our unorthodox relationship for more unity_ **

 

**_Or at least salves my wounded heart and pride with his own hands._ **


	9. 009

_She walked to where the queen would be, amused and satisfied with her own created plan of causing an omen to the palace. She hid a_ _poisonous_ _herb in_ _between_ _her fingers. It was too poisonous that it would cause the baby's death but it wasn't poisonous enough to kill the queen herself, although it might cause her hours of severe illness._

_"Your majesty," Her enthusiasm died down, and instead, her face was wrapped in a blanket of sadness and agony, for one to look at and feel immediate empathy. She bowed to the queen, whom she never cared about enough to save her little piece of heaven_ _of the unexpected assassinations_ _devilishness_ _and hypocrisy._

_"Why did you ask to meet me in person? I thought your mother is already imprisoned and you are thrown out of the palace." The Queen superiorly looked down on the girl who was, as the speed of lightning, even more saddened and angered as she remembered what had happened to her mother and how she had been unjustly imprisoned for being falsely accused of stealing the Queen's pieces of jewelry_.

_Her head was still hung low, never daring to lock her richly emotional eyes with the Queen's unrelenting and vicious ones. "I came here to say that my mother was falsely accused."_

_"And why should I believe you?" The queen kept her voice low and somewhat kind, but that never meant that she was not capable of raising her voice any second if she wanted to._

_Luckily, Beryl's plan was nearly a success, and as she wanted to come into the queen's room when tea would be served, she was ready to set her plan into actual action._

_"I_ _ju_ _-" She put her hand upon her already perspiring forehead, her eyes rolling up as she sought any direction that did not whirl in furious circles; she had taken a medicine that would cause an acute abdominal pain, and in order to succeed in feigning and exaggerating her illness, she had starved herself for days beforehand to convince the queen and everyone around her when it is time to act. Just as hard work pays off, pain was really getting the best of her, but somehow she still managed to continue her mission, and before she fell, she made sure to splatter the light, almost invisible poisonous herb into the queen's cup of tea without a single soul noticing._

 

 

 

**_Dear mother,_ **

 

**_I did it_ **

 

**_I put the poison and I succeeded in feigning illness_ **

 

**_But mother,_ **

 


	10. 010

_She didn't know if it was because of her awoke conscience, or because sudden fear erupted in her numb body, however, she managed to gather the last quota of strength within her body to throw the cup away right after she successfully threw in the herb, and only then did she allow herself to completely fall on the hard floor. Eyes closed, mouth slightly agape and dead silent._

_Everyone in the room panicked, even the queen herself was worried as to why something like this would happen all of a sudden to a girl who had just been all right a moment ago. She was examined by the doctor and was ordered by the queen to be kept on a clean mattress, safe and sound, until she woke up._

_When she finally woke up it was time to face her melancholic reality. Disgust, hatred, frustration, disbelief; an assortment of feelings of pure self-hatred rinsed her soul rigorously, lingered on and tugged at her heavy heartstrings._

 

 

**_Dear_ ** **_mother_ ** **_,_ **

 

  
_**I don't know if this will help me survive**_

 

_**Or if it will be my own demise** _

 

_**But** _ **_I couldn't hurt the queen nor the unborn child_ **

 

**_And now I'm crying bitterly_ **

 

**_And I don't_ ** **_know_ ** **_if it is_ ** **_because_ ** **_I had a lot of brutal thoughts inside_ ** _**, honestly** _

 

**_Or_** ** _because_** ** _I_** ** _will_** **_disappoint Crown_**   _ **Prince**_ ** _Yoongi_** _ **, utterly.**_

 


	11. 011

_Instead of faking her illness to hurt the queen and her_ _child_ , _she feigned it once again to convince the queen to let her meet her_ _mother_ _,_ _who_ _had been a maidservant_   _to the queen ever since Beryl's birth and who was so loved and_ _appreciated_ _by the queen herself - if it_ _wasn_ _'t for some ill-hearted_ _hypocrites_ _who set her up because of their shameless envy_ _._

 _The queen, considering the_ _uncountable_ _years of obedience and complete honesty_ _of_ _Beryl_ _and her mother, allowed_ _Beryl_ _to_ _visit_ _her imprisoned sick_ _mother_ _._

 _Beryl_ _was back to her old self._ ** _Was it_** ** _because_** _ **she had been**_ _ **away**_ _ **from**_ _ **Prince**_ _ **Yoongi's**_ _ **immense force towards her and**_ _ **magnetism**_ _ **all day long?**_ _She didn't really know._

_She walked idly, emptied of all emotions, towards where guards led her to meet her mother, but instead of finding her mother meeting her with a big smile and a warm hug, she was met with her fragile body, shuddering of the coldness as beads of sweat formed on her forehead, drops blobbing upon the rigid ground one by one, in synchronization with light drops of rain colliding with leaves outside the small windowpane. Her mother's face was pale, and so were her trembling lips. Beryl ran to her, all the nerves she had were thrown haphazardly in all directions. She didn't know if she felt sadness, anger, or pure hatred. She didn't know what term or what kind of emotion would express or describe what was within her because it was too acute, too acute to be described by mere words created by humans, it was an atrocious power that set all of her sanity free and left her all alone with nothing but emotional and physical instability._

_She fell on the hard ground next to her mother, throwing kisses then and there after clutching on her shoulders tightly to pull her up_ _into_ _a prolonged hug. She_ _shook_ _her in every possible direction to make her at least open her eyes once so she can look at them for one last time._

_"Mom!"_

_She repeatedly whispered, trying_ _somehow_ _to contain and_ _suppress_ _the unbearable_ _pain that spread all over her chest. Her mother_ _finally_ _answered_ _and so did God answer her_ _desperate_ _prayers, and her mother opened her eyes, looked into_ _Beryl's_ _eyes for two seconds, saying a million sentence that_ _Beryl_ _did not catch any of, showing a_ _hurricane_ _of_ _destructive_ _emotions_ _that_ _Beryl_ _would_ _never feel. She tried,_ _she_ _tried her best to at least give her daughter one last sentence that_ _Beryl_ _could keep in her weak heart_ _forever_ , _but as soon as her mother opened her mouth, her ghost was hurrying to bid her body farewell, and she unintentionally closed her eyes along with her mouth, dangerously slow to not freak her daughter out all of a sudden. Her mother, until the very last second, tried._

_The only thing that could be heard within those four burdening walls of this prison, in which they had been trapped, was_ _Beryl's_ _heart-shattering scream, that_ _was_ _loud, dry, and utterly_ _painful_ _._

 

 

 

_**Dear Mother,** _

 

_**I** _ _**miss** _ _**you so much** _

 

_**But soon, we will be together, so don't** _ _**worry** _ _**yourself** _ _**about** _ _**such** _

 

_**Thoughts of being alone or having to eat lunch** _

 

_**By your own, anymore.** _

 

_**Soon I will be there, in Eden** _

 

_**Hopefully, and not in another infernal region.** _

 


	12. 012

_Her sharp eyes shot daggers int_ o _Prince_ _Y_ _oongi's_ _back, hurtfully digging her own_ _fingers_ _into the skin of her palms, almost_ _causing_ _blood to seep out of the wounds blemishing her f_ _air complexion._

_"You dared to disobey and manipulate me." His voice was dangerously growling with a low tone, never changing his position or bothering to look at her._

_"I didn't manipulate you, your highness, you are the one who manipulated and exploited me." After a moment of silence to take in what she just said and how rudely she had talked back to the prince, a loud gasp escaped the prince's manservant and he took quick, large steps towards her, and without a second thought or a permission of the prince, he slapped her vehemently across her right cheek. The slap was so ferocious that her head almost flew to the other side of the room as the sound filled the silence the room fell into seconds ago._

_The crown prince, after hearing the slap, turned to the two to find one who stood proudly after he slapped the fragile girl, and the second shocked and paralyzed of the sudden, unexpected slap._

_"Did I ever allow you to touch a single hair of her before?" Anger was hearable in the prince's voice, as he dangerously glared at_ _Kolta_ _, his manservant, who got to experience the same paralysis Beryl had a moment ago as soon as he had been met with_ _Yoongi's_ _unexpected, unreadable reaction and his menacing gaze. "Get out of here!"_ _Yoongi's_ _hollering voice pumped against the elegantly adorned walls of his personal room, darkly piercing his eyes into_ _Kolta's_ _restlessly moving ones as night and darkness peered into the_ _dimly_ _illuminated room_ _thoroughly._

 

 

**_Dear_ ** **_mother_ ** **_,_ **

 

_**What is Prince Yoongi doing?** _

 

_**And why is he being protective all of a sudden?** _

 

**_I thought he would start scolding me_ **

 

**_But mom, he only made me feel more hazy_ ** **_._ **

 


	13. 013

_"Why did you convince me that I would live with my mother happily after causing the abortion when you knew that my mother would be dead anyway? Isn't that called manipulation?" She_ _miraculously_ _let out her question that she almost stayed all night long trying to put into words, she mentally and emotionally practiced for this very moment to the extent that she thought nothing would ever be able to lower her voice, shake her tone or even allow a tear to seep out of her eyes. But she couldn't shroud her nasal, croaky and tired voice nor was she able to throw her welled up tears into oblivion as soon as she was put under his rich, intense gaze._

_"When I said glorious life, I never meant that it would be living with your mother." His softly lowered voice penetrated_ _Beryl's_ _heart, yet her_ _whole_ _figure never cared to_ _budge_ _upon hearing any of those_ _pointless excuses_ _._

_"Whatever your present is, I don't care. I'm more than thankful already because what you did_ _made me come back to my senses."_ _She sniffled, still trying to swallow back her drizzling tears and fidgeting her_ _arms_ _awkwardly in front of his dangerously acute gaze._

_"What do you mean?" He asked, unsure of what she really meant._

_"I will never allow myself to be manipulated by your fake ways and lies anymore, I will never do that." She slightly raised her voice at the prince, furiously dusting off another_ _assortment_ _of emotions and tears. If the prince was angry moments ago, now, he was fuming and reddening with pure_ _outrage_ _._

_He_ _quickly_ _approached_ _her small body, but instead of being met with pain in_ _her_ cheeks with another slap, as she thought, she _was hit with a more painful slapping waves of_ _emotions_ _as he yanked her into a_ _ **full**_ _warm embrace, protectively_ _clutching_ _on her shoulder_ _and_ _back._

 _Her face_ _was_ _unintentionally buried into his rigid chest, but_ _after_ _seconds of pure_ _paralysis_ , _she came back to her senses and pushed him away but her effort was to no avail since he only strengthened his desperate arms._

 

 

 

_**Dear** _ _**mother** _ _**,** _

 

_**I really don't know what's going on** _

 

_**That crown prince is completely out of his sanity** _

 

_**And as much as I had always wanted to carry on** _

 

_**My mind and heart are much stronger now, and so is their unity.** _

 


	14. 014

_With another violent force, she pushed him off her, causing his arms to drop to his sides after disappointedly hanging them in the air for a few moments._

_"Why are you being like this?" She breathed through her quivering lips, her eyes never leaving the floor. His eyebrows wrinkled in complete frustration, taking a few slow steps towards her but whenever he took a step forward, she took a step backwards._

_"I should be the one asking this question." He eyed her rigorously, his dazzling pupils shining through hers like the effulgent, yet blinding moon, underneath which they both stood still staining the calm, tranquilizing atmosphere with patches of dissatisfaction and irritation._

_"That is how I have always been, even if I changed for a few days when you thought you could manipulate me, I finally came back to my senses!" She raised her voice again, for the very first time ever since she entered his room, her voice was audible enough to be heard clearly by the latter. She glared deeply into his eyes, almost piercing them. After he finally got a hold of her forearm, he pulled her into him but she was quick to reject it before he even did it. "Stop!" She screamed at the top of her lungs as she wiggled her forearm out of his fierce grip._

_He yanked her forearm once again and before she knew it, her hand subconsciously flew to his cheek to smack him across the face so hard it was heard from_ _outside_ _the room. A look of shock fell upon his features as he remained silent for a few moments, never moving. But as a conceited smirk embellished his rosy lips, is when he knew he had returned to his old self once again. He thought he had stepped on his pride for too many times already, therefore, it was time to wake his demonic desires up and bring his deadly aura back to life._

_"_ _Kolta_ _!" He roared to summon_ _Kolta_ _form where he would be outside the room._ _Kolta_ _immediately barged into the room only to be met with_ _Yoongi's_ _intense gaze at the shorter girl in front of him, whose trembling body was subconsciously turned around to avert ever looking into_ _Yoongi's_ _eyes._

_"Your Highness!" Just as he was shocked himself, he unintentionally raised his voice watching the fragile girl messily taking few steps towards him, cheeks moist and red._

_"What does this country's law do to traitors?"_ _Yoongi's_ _voice was menacingly low, rich and intimidating causing Beryl to shudder in both horror and revulsion; just what she thought would happen, was really happening._

_Kolta's_ _lips turned upwards to form an irritatingly smug, conceited grin as he looked down on Beryl, who halted in her tracks upon hearing the word traitors, and, in a strong clear voice, stated. "An immediate execution, Your Highness."_

 

 

_**Dear** _ **_Mother,_ **

 

**_What in the world is happening?_ **

 

**_I didn't know beautiful vivid dreams could end up being a nightmare in a sleep paralysis._ **

 


	15. 015

_Although Yoongi was used to doing such devilish deeds and taking hard decisions without any hint of remorse or mercy, he still never imagined that he could do it to Beryl too, to someone who was too young and pure to be mistreated and harmed by this hideous and abhorrent world, but_ _now that he did it, there was no way to go back in time and undo what had already been done._

 _The prince, after hours of silently staring into nothingness while propping his chin on the back of his hands, sitting on the very end of his king-sized bed, began to seethe with frustration of_ _the_ _disharmonious emotions_ _that exploded within him_ _. He was disappointed of the_ _decision_ _he recklessly took, but he was too stubborn and too self-centered to admit it, even to himself._

_Ever since his mother, the former queen, gave up the ghost, he lived in the morbid prison that had been created for him and after years of howling and beating the metal bars for anyone to notice his agony, he finally found the keys, but he was already too damaged and deteriorated therefore, even when he had the key to his freedom in his own hands, he didn't know what to do with it so he just carelessly tossed it aroun_ _d._

_After snapping out of his vivid dreams of what he should have, or should have not done, he found his hand, subconsciously, clutching his chest angrily. He walked up to where he usually placed his potteries, and after studying the place, found the elegant, black box that was adorned and studded with different precious stones, in which another - almost flawless - piece of pottery waited impatiently to be handed to its real owner,_ **_Beryl_** _._

_Just looking at the box made Yoongi furious and confused to a level he never even knew he could reach, and for the very first time since a very long time, his usually calm exterior was torn up by his calamitous, dreadful pique._

_He grabbed the box and got the pottery out of it. Without even glancing at it or giving his pointless attitude a second thought, he threw it across the room to shatter his hours of hard working and the lightheartedness he felt while doing it into millions and millions of pieces that almost resembled the drops of rain colliding with the hard surface of his windowpane to be, too, split into very small, meaningless droplets of water._

_His chest expanded dramatically as he inhaled and exhaled repeatedly, leaving no time between breaths. His cheeks were already coral red, forehead outraging with beads of sweat, to which his hair was glued, and hands angrily shaking as he grabbed another pottery, the one he made with Beryl, and threw it against the wall._

_However, he never really felt any better._

 

 

 

**_What am I doing?_ **

 

**_And why am I being like this?_ **

 

**_Is it Beryl's backfire?_ **

 

**_Or is it my heart hovering over something amiss?_ **

 

⏬⏬⏬⏬

 

  
**_i hate this chap too_** ** _heuheue_**

 


	16. 016

_Beryl, despite being shocked and disappointed, managed to make_ _Y_ oongi _experience what it feels to be rejected, not only as a longing lover but also as a member of a royal family who never knew that a person who could make him feel the way she did existed on this planet. He had always looked down on people, thinking that they were all inferiors as if he forgot that, in reality, he was one of these inferiors, for he has the same features, starves when he doesn't eat, becomes desperate for water when he feels thirsty, feels lightheaded and tired when he doesn't sleep, and has blood, without which he can never live. But most importantly, wasn't he as susceptible as everyone else to the infectious spice of devilishness that roams around every single soul, totally shunning how some have a big shroud of sacredness embellishing their auras?_

_He wasn't any different._

_Beryl was imprisoned, and to add insult to injury,_ _Yoongi_ _insisted on locking her up in the same place her mother was locked and died in a few days ago; he knew that physical torture was not how he would be able to force her to submit to him once again so he never ordered for any physical pain to be caused but he still wanted to emotionally wreck her for the very last moment just as she made him suffer numerous sleepless nights, for he always had to go through minutes and endless hours of swimming through deep contradicting thoughts. For hours he would think that he should get her out of the prison so she could live freely, so far away from where he was, but when his demonic insides emerged he just felt like he wanted to get her out of prison so he could feed his vigorous selfishness and sleep comfortably at night, but still, he was not a person who would step on and swallow his pride and once a word escapes his mouth, it can never be brought back._

_On the other hand, Beryl wanted to meet the prince once more but she did not know if it was because she wanted to slap him once again and show him that he is as worthless as he saw everyone else, to seek forgiveness and beg for mercy - when she would feel scared and when fear crawls from every corner of this hideous room she was locked in into her body, just like insects would at nights - to turn tables and get herself out of what she was in, or to meet him to at least thank him for the few weeks they had been together._

_Nevertheless, it was her fault, and so did she blame herself for falling into his traps in the first place._   
  


 

 

**_Dear Crown Prince,_ **

 

**_I have written a lot of letters to my deceased mother ever since_ **

 

**_I was imprisoned into this hell hole and hence_ **

 

**_I wanted to at least write one for you with a sense_ **

 

**_Of appreciation of what I felt when I was in your embrace and dense_ **

 

**_Generosity and for unknowingly prompting me to revive my self-defense_ **

 

**_So here is to you, my tyrannical prince._ **

 

****

**_ _**


	17. 017

_It was early in the morning, when baby birds started chirping, when rustling leaves harmonised the melody of birds' carols and when slapping cold winds turned fair complexions into a rosy shade of pink— but also when fog shrouded the beauty of all of this._

_The morning was beautiful, and so was Beyrl's condition when air sauntered leisurely through the windowpane and glided smoothly through her loosened long hair. She was satisfied that she was still alive to experience tranquil wintry mornings for a few last times— she never knew if her cheeks would ever be able to meet the same smoothness and coldness after she meets her doom._

_She stood on her bare feet once again, her long white dress swaying loosely to both sides as she walked up to the windowpane that seemed so far away but was, in reality, a few meters away from her. She tried to reach up to the high window so she could peer out of it, tiptoeing. As she slightly succeeded in at least being able to experience coldness at firsthand, she smiled genuinely while breathing in and out the scent of moist and damp air in early mornings but as soon as she opened her dreamy, glazing eyes, her smile dropped to its knees, and so did her heart stop in its tracks causing her muscles to tense vigorously and hands to abruptly loosen its grip off the window's metal bars, only to fall once again to her sides, as her body, too, found its way to the hard ground._

_She saw him again, after weeks._

_He made sure to be there, almost everyday, only to watch her silently for some minutes before starting his day and finishing his duties as a prince. He didn't understand himself either, but the way his heart jolted furiously beneath his ribcage when their eyes finally met for once made him think if he really did have affection towards her._

_He_ _**finally** _ _realized that it had been affection that caused his inner conflicts all along._

 

 

 

**_Dear_ ** _**Mother,** _

_**I have never been so scared** _

_**His eyes were rich with an unreadable emotion** _

_**When our eyes met, his eyes never moved and locked with mine in devotion** _

_**As if he had been planning to possess me with those piercing eyes** _ **_,_ **

_**My heart sank into my chest, in which there was a furious ocean.** _


	18. 018

_Today, the winds were even more furious, the leaves were too busy hovering around the palace, the birds hid in their shelters and the ground was as dry as a summery morning in barren deserts; not a single drop of water dared to sprout out of the grey clouds shrouding the blue sky to calm the raging winds and moist the severe drought everyone suffered from for months._

_However, the clouds were calm, as calm as_ _Beyrl_ _was when she was silently swallowed in the garden, which was crowded with_ _Yoongi's_ _servants, the servants who longed to nourish their malice by watching someone's life being stolen by an unjust prince,_ _**their unjust prince.**_

_Beryl sat on a chair, before which there was a table and a small pot, with a liquefied substance inside, set rigorously in the midst of the elegant silver tray. Beryl sneered under her breath as she carefully studied the expensive utensils that would give her an easy trip to the place awaiting her after death—whether it was heaven or hell._

**_If I had my note now, mother, I would have written to you that I finally understand why you used to tell me that money and power never mattered—nor having a lover did really because here I am, face to face with my own demise, and nothing feels or seems as dreadful and superior as doom is._ **

_**Alas! How** _ _**much I wish I had listened to you and stayed out of this palace!** _

_A_ _wide smile, revealing her pearl-like teeth, embellished her dull lips, causing a wave of loud whispers to fill the silent morning._

_Yoongi was there too, in the same balcony he used everyday to_ _peek at_ _Beryl, to watch her execution, air flowing through his fair soft hair, messing it up in all directions but the prince never really cared_ _—what he really cared about was the winds of sadness rushing through his soul, vehemently messing all of his insides up._

**_"Why do I suddenly regret everything?"_ **

 

— _And a shiver ran down his spine when the devil finally sounded the gong Beryl had been waiting for hours to hear._

 


	19. 019

_"Wait!"_

_Yoongi glued his eyes to Beryl's smiling lips and just as the man who was bound to announce that it was time for the execution when the clock chimed eight,_ _Yoongi's_ _voice was the only thing that invaded the deafening silence of the palace in between the second and third dongs of the gong._

_Yoongi never regretted his choice, even when everyone looked at him with pure confusion and_ _dissatisfaction_ _, he didn't care, really. He didn't know why he stopped the_ _execution_ _from taking place all of a sudden, but he knew that it felt right to at_ _least_ _try and give her a second chance to repent and seek his forgiveness._

_"Do you have one last wish?"_ _Yoongi's_ _loud, proud voice filled the palace once again, mentally smiling at his_ _de_ _cision_ _as he looked right through Beryl's lifted eyes._

_Beryl knew exactly what he had in mind—he wanted to make her beg and_ _humiliate_ _herself in front of him so he can forgive her for something she never really did so he could feed his selfishness. But she was far more smart to do such a thing, and instead, it was her very own turn to_ _see him being_ _humiliate_ _d_ _—and hopefully to see him_ _begging for mercy_ _too._

_**Oh! How much I want to see you on your knees!** _

_**And listen to your trifle pleas!** _

_She looked at him with smiling eyes, which he clearly saw from afar, although there was fog dressing the air, and that smile reached her lips as soon as the first snowflake descending from the white patches drawn within the blue sky collided with her warm skin._

_She looked up at the sky with an even wider smile adorning her lips and reddened cheeks, and so everyone followed her gaze; everyone studied,_ _excluding_ _Yoongi who was too busy studying her features, the snowflakes elegantly dancing with the gentle_ _breezes_ _as they_ _d_ _escended_ _from_ _what_ _Beryl thought was heaven to_ _teem their skins with coldness similar to the coldness exploding within every present soul._

_"I only hope you reconsider your life decisions but since I know they are hard to take, I gave the queen the honor to take them on behalf of you."_

**_Yoongi shuddered with an emotion that was too elusive to be named._ **

__

_** **_


	20. —the end

_As Beryl saw_ _Yoongi's_ _state of puzzlement when she voiced her wish out loud, her wide smile turned into a smug grin—the priceless chance she got to experience watering and nourishing her own revenge_ ** _with_** _was shamelessly pleasing to her vengeful desires_.

_Yoongi's_ _firm expression never made a movement and his furrowing eyebrows never willed to disappear as he raised his arm in the air, beckoning the man who waited impatiently to announce the execution so it could take place—_ _**for real** _ _._

_Yoongi's_ _hands were either shaking because he was utterly angry or because he was absolutely hesitant about sticking to his decisions. He, himself, couldn't comprehend nor detail the feeling teeming his heavy heart and hazy chest._

_**The servant eagerly hit the gong.** _

_**Dong...** _

_**Dong...** _

_**Dong...** _

_Beryl, although being ready to guzzle that poison in a twinkling of an eye, still stared at Yoongi, amusement embellishing her pale features—causing another wave of pure nervousness to shred every nerve Yoongi had._

_A few gasps caused Yoongi to fiercely turn his head to the side, to see what his maids were exaggerating about. And just as much as he thought it would be something of mere significance, it turned out to be something of everything but little significance; the queen, herself, was here, face teemed with amusement_ _—while_ _a hint of anger hid behind her smiling features._

_"Lazuli!" The queen's high-pitched, rich voice called out her_ _maidservant's_ _name, who was a few steps behind her_ _, after silently breaking the hard glare she set on Yoongi for a good half a minute._

_"Yes, Your Majesty!" Lazuli answered firmly, honor audible in her voice and body language._

_"What does this country do to royal tyrants?"_

_And with that, Beryl knew that it was time to give the cold shoulder to her own life, because she thought it was more than enough to see, with her own eyes, the crown prince being referred to as a tyrant._

_"An execution,_ **_Your Majesty_ ** _."_

_—and smirks erupted out of the queen, her servant and Beryl's lips as she gulped the liquid and felt the burning sensation all along her throat to her starving stomach, while watching_ _Yoongi's_ _hands fidget nervously around his tensed body._

* * *

 

**_Dear Mother,_ **

 

**_Destiny had always had a way to approach me and accost_ **

 

_**aggressively to ask**_ **_for more sadness to be caused_**

 

**_and for my life to be glossed_ **

 

**_with a luster of deceptive beauty to holocaust_ **

 

**_the innocence I bore that is now lost_ **

 

**_within the jungle of devils I entered where virtuous spirits defrost—_ **

 

_**and deform in the heat of desires to be a miniature portrait of the nearby ghost** _

 

_**by which I crossed.** _

 

_**Goodbye, and farewell to this shameless world—covered by all these black clouds of** _ _**exhaust** _ _**.** _

 


	21. A/N

_Yooooo_ _wassup_ _frenz_ _!11!1!1!1_

_This is LITERALLY my first completed story so_ _yAAAAYYYYYYY_


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